I have just returned from a week at camp with 16 5th-8th grade guys. We go every year, to Camp Timber-Lee in Wisconsin. What a week!! Its taken me a good 4-5 days to recover physically and emotionally from 24 hours a day, complete energy output.
Am I all talk? Those of you who know me know that I claim to love relational ministry over programmatic ministry. I talk about it all the time. However faced with a week of camp, (highly focused relationship time) I cringed knowing that I would face conflict after conflict all week.
Am I all talk? This blog, (and I hope me life), is dedicated to peace-making. Sometimes I hate it. Not only do I hate it, I am scared to death by it. You can imagine that a week of 16 junior high guys living together in a cabin created a little discord, in fact I felt like it was a week of tension. 2 highlights from the week. Our cabin and a cabin from Wisconsin almost started a fight together. Seth (my coworker and friend) wisely brought our to unspoken leaders and the other groups leaders together. We spent and hour talking through miscommunication, gossip, and the effect 'riding' has on one another. At the end the two groups shook hands and resolved the conflict. Ignored conflict doesn't feel heavy at first, but after while it feels so heavy. Resolved conflict, although difficult, is like dropped a huge external frame backpack after a 10 mile hike.
Am I all talk? On the last night, a fight broke out in my cabin between two guys that had been at each other all week. I separated them, and began to talk to them. Seth was not around at the moment, and I was faced dealing with conflict, being a peace-maker, on my own. As it was happening, I as myself that question, "Am I all talk"? I have been talking about being a peace-make for a while, and given the opportunity to really do direct conflict management, I desperately wanted someone else to do it. I wanted to ignore the conflict, have the guys stay in different sections of the cabin, and ride out the storm until the next day. In the back of my mind I knew it wouldn't work. I know that ignoring conflict, doesn't solve it, and after festering for a while it would explode with much more intensity. It took me a half hour, but finally I got the two boys to apologize and shake hands. It was a great feeling of relief.
Am I all talk? I think being a peace-maker is such a difficult thing, others seem much more able to do it? It seemed to come so naturally to Seth, why is it that I feel called to something that is so difficult for me naturally?
Are any of you called to something that doesn't come naturally to you, but energizes you when you finish?
Am I all talk? Those of you who know me know that I claim to love relational ministry over programmatic ministry. I talk about it all the time. However faced with a week of camp, (highly focused relationship time) I cringed knowing that I would face conflict after conflict all week.
Am I all talk? This blog, (and I hope me life), is dedicated to peace-making. Sometimes I hate it. Not only do I hate it, I am scared to death by it. You can imagine that a week of 16 junior high guys living together in a cabin created a little discord, in fact I felt like it was a week of tension. 2 highlights from the week. Our cabin and a cabin from Wisconsin almost started a fight together. Seth (my coworker and friend) wisely brought our to unspoken leaders and the other groups leaders together. We spent and hour talking through miscommunication, gossip, and the effect 'riding' has on one another. At the end the two groups shook hands and resolved the conflict. Ignored conflict doesn't feel heavy at first, but after while it feels so heavy. Resolved conflict, although difficult, is like dropped a huge external frame backpack after a 10 mile hike.
Am I all talk? On the last night, a fight broke out in my cabin between two guys that had been at each other all week. I separated them, and began to talk to them. Seth was not around at the moment, and I was faced dealing with conflict, being a peace-maker, on my own. As it was happening, I as myself that question, "Am I all talk"? I have been talking about being a peace-make for a while, and given the opportunity to really do direct conflict management, I desperately wanted someone else to do it. I wanted to ignore the conflict, have the guys stay in different sections of the cabin, and ride out the storm until the next day. In the back of my mind I knew it wouldn't work. I know that ignoring conflict, doesn't solve it, and after festering for a while it would explode with much more intensity. It took me a half hour, but finally I got the two boys to apologize and shake hands. It was a great feeling of relief.
Am I all talk? I think being a peace-maker is such a difficult thing, others seem much more able to do it? It seemed to come so naturally to Seth, why is it that I feel called to something that is so difficult for me naturally?
Are any of you called to something that doesn't come naturally to you, but energizes you when you finish?
4 comments:
Hey Noel,
Being a submissive wife doesn't come naturally to me, especially since I wasn't raised to or taught how to submit. That said, there is an enormous blessing and peace that comes when it happens because I'm living out my relationship in the way the Lord intends it to be. And in the end, submitting to my husband is the best decision. (I'm also blessed to have a husband it's not all that difficult to submit to and he has my best interests at heart, too. He wouldn't ask me to do something that would hurt me. :) )
When do we get to see you and your sweet wife again?
I believe that I can categorically say that you are definitely not "all talk."
There are many things about the life of a believer that we find difficult to do. Some things we adamantly do not WANT to do. Things like sharing the gospel (with individuals); PREACHING the gospel (to groups of people); mortifying sin (My pastor would be so proud of my using that term :) ); or even regular prayer and scripture reading.
However, I'm convinced that it is not the struggle with not wanting to do what we know we should that we should be concerned with but rather whether, in the end, we in fact decide to do what we should. It is our decisions and our actions that truly matter.
To answer your question, I personally find it extraordinarily difficult to open my mouth and share the gospel. However, I have found recently that when I decide to put aside the fear of man that I have and speak up, I am filled with an energy and excitement that is not my own as I speak the words that declare God's mercy and Christ's glory. I am still amazed by this and am encouraged that God's Word is effectual, many times in spite of the person speaking.
sweet little brother...i see sooo many facets to peacemaking/peacekeeping as it relates to the path you are walking. conflict resolution may seem to be the most obvious facet and i think your most challenging facet. But it is not the only facet. You are not a confrontational individual. You are a peacemaker (and blessed are they for they will inherit the earth) As a result, conflict resolution is going to require you to "dig deeper" than someone who dives into conflict without as much trepidation. i agree wholeheartedly with Tim's summary, and say to you..."do not be weary in well-doing" for you indeed are doing well.
I am called to parent children. And if two weren't enough, we will add a third to the chaos in feb. Nothing in me wants to choose to parent, discipline, train. But i am compelled. This is the hardest thing i've ever done, i have to dig deep, and with God's sufficient grace i manage to get through one day at a time. the blessing and peace are hard to identify right now, but i can't do anything but obey the calling God has given me.
i love you
My husband is not all talk! I love you.
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